It seems to be universal among those hooked on porn, the belief that the addict is responsible for getting hooked in the first place. I have spent thousands of hours worked with hundreds of men who were hooked on pornography and nearly every single one was first exposed to pornography at 11 years old. It is complete lunacy that an 11-year-old has access to pornography.
Internet pornography didn't exist before the 1990s, and if you wanted porn before the internet, you had to travel to a shady, out-of-town "bookstore" where porn was sold on DVD, VHS, or in dirty magazines before video was invented. Most people on earth, children especially, didn't know pornography even existed. Can you imagine? Nowadays middle school boys talk with each other about the kinds of porn they watch. It is unconscionable. Are these middle school boys to blame for getting hooked on porn? Would they be responsible for getting hooked on heroin? Pot? Alcohol? Cigarettes? If you saw a kid hooked on those substances, you'd see it as a reflection on their parents, right? Why is that not the case with pornography? Is an 11 year-old any more culpable for porn addiction than the others?
Look, I'm not in the business of blaming, and I don't like anyone claiming to be a victim. I'm in the business of helping men quit porn, and that includes telling the truth about things. Men and boys beat themselves up for getting hooked, and place all the culpability on their own shoulders, then carry that shame long past the end of the addiction. Take the position of the outsider looking in. An 11 year-old boy has access to pornography. Where are his parents? Why does he have unfettered access to the internet? If the filters and monitoring software aren't working, why do they keep using them? Why aren't there age verification blocks on porn sites like there are on webpages for beer or alcohol? Why are the tech companies allowing this material on their platforms? Why isn't the government enforcing obscenity laws that are already on the books? Why have other countries like the UK and Russia recognized the lifelong damage that pornography exposure does to children, and passed and enforced laws to protect children, and the US does nothing to stop the spread?
But it's an 11-year-old's fault for getting hooked.
Or a 14-year-old.
Or a 17-year-old.
None of them are old enough to drink, smoke, buy a car, vote, but they're old enough to be guilty for getting hooked on porn. If their parents, or any other adult reenacted in front of them what they see on the computer, the parents would go to jail and CPS would take the kids. But the kids are to blame for accessing the material? No way.
So you're hooked now, but let that sink in that literally every adult failed who was responsible for keeping you safe from the predatory practices of the pornography industry. They know kids access their sites, yet they fight against age verification regulations. It is right to be outraged about it. If you're hooked, it is right to understand that some of these adults deliberately harmed you and messed up years of your life for a buck. It's more than okay to be pissed about it, to be #$^& enraged about it. Take revenge on these scumbags by fostering that sense of rage every time you see their ads and content, and use that rage to propel you out of your addiction and help others get out as well.