A friend sent me this last night. It's a pretty good piece. There's something lacking though.
There's a blind spot in the Trad community which places strong emphasis on adherence to rules, and perpetuation of guilt long after confession and absolution, but little to no acknowledgement of human emotion and little application of active listening and empathy.
The Trad parent is more likely to discuss or argue on a logical plane, making little room for emotional experience, which is a natural experience of life.
One thing that makes the secular world more attractive is that many seculars have a more "open mind", which often translates into "they're not going to jump all over me the second that any evidence surfaces of my frustration with all these rules." The seculars listen. Breaking certain rules doesn't scare them, where breaking rules scares Trad parents.
Where Trad parents need to improve is in listening to others, then saying their feelings out loud with something like, "that sounds like a really frustrating experience", or, "sounds like you're really lonely. That's a hard thing to go through." Don't try to solve the puzzle right away. Sit. Listen. Reflect your child's emotions. It's not putting their emotions higher than the rules, it's just acknowledging that they have specific emotions in that moment and you're helping them move through them.
Cold or disconnected parents make emotionally malnourished children who are more likely to leave the faith and embrace the secular life because those are the people who are listening and acknowledging.
